Couples Therapy Isn’t Just for Crisis: Common Misconceptions and What Actually Helps

When people hear “couples therapy,” it’s not uncommon for their minds to jump straight to thoughts of infidelity, separation, or some kind of relationship-ending event. But here’s the truth: therapy isn’t just for couples on the brink. In fact, waiting until things fall apart often makes the healing process longer and harder.

As a Gottman-trained couples therapist, I’ve worked with partners in all stages of their relationship—from newly dating to decades-deep marriages. And I’ve seen firsthand how much misinformation exists about what relationships should look like.

Common Relationship Myths (And the Truth Behind Them)

1. “If we love each other, it should be easy.”
Real talk: even the healthiest couples argue. Love is not the absence of conflict—it's how we handle it that matters. Research shows that 69% of conflict in relationships is about perpetual, unsolvable problems (Gottman, 1999). What makes the difference is how couples talk about the issue, not whether they solve it overnight.

2. “Good relationships don’t need work.”
Would you expect to stay physically healthy without exercise, good food, or sleep? Emotional intimacy is no different. Relationships require intention, attention, and sometimes, professional support. Even check-ins with a therapist can help maintain that connection over time.

3. “Couples therapy means we’re failing.”
Not at all. Seeking therapy is actually a sign of investment—not failure. Couples who engage in therapy often find new ways to understand, communicate, and grow together. It's a brave and proactive step toward strengthening your relationship.

The Gottman Method: What Sets It Apart

The Gottman Method is a research-based approach to couples therapy developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. With over four decades of research behind it, this method focuses on building what's known as the Sound Relationship House—a framework that helps couples create trust, manage conflict, and deepen intimacy.

Unlike some talk-only approaches, Gottman Method therapy is structured and practical. You won’t just talk about your problems—you’ll learn specific tools to:

• Improve communication

• Repair after conflict

• Build rituals of connection

• Strengthen emotional intimacy

Want a Relationship Check-Up?

If you’ve ever wished there were a way to measure the health of your relationship, you’re in luck. As a Gottman-trained therapist, I offer the Gottman Relationship Checkup—a powerful, research-based assessment tool that provides a detailed snapshot of your relationship’s strengths and areas for growth.

This online assessment takes about an hour to complete and covers everything from friendship and conflict management to trust and shared meaning. Once completed, we’ll review the results together in session and develop a personalized roadmap for your relationship goals.

You don’t need to be in crisis to want better for your relationship.
Whether you’re navigating communication issues, big life transitions, or just want to connect on a deeper level, couples therapy can be a safe and supportive space to grow.

Interested in learning more or scheduling a Relationship Checkup? Let’s talk.
Your relationship deserves attention, and you both deserve to feel seen, heard, and connected.